New 2009 2010 BMW Z4 - ZPOST
BMW Garage BMW Meets Register Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read


Go Back   New 2009 2010 BMW Z4 - ZPOST > BIMMERPOST Universal Forums > Off-Topic Discussions Board

Post Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
      02-13-2024, 09:41 AM   #1299
M5Rick
General
M5Rick's Avatar
67043
Rep
21,659
Posts

Drives: M5 F10 DCT Gunmetal
Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: GB

iTrader: (0)

The cost of living has got so bad, I have a friend who used to live in a spare tyre....
He got a puncture and now lives in a flat.
Appreciate 3
vreihen1619583.50
Llarry20758.00
KRS_SN14412.50
      02-13-2024, 02:33 PM   #1300
vreihen16
Recovering Perfectionist
vreihen16's Avatar
19584
Rep
991
Posts

Drives: BMW-less :(
Join Date: Jun 2019
Location: Orange County, NY

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
Quote:
Originally Posted by M5Rick View Post
The cost of living has got so bad, I have a friend who used to live in a spare tyre....
He got a puncture and now lives in a flat.
FYI, the term "flat" as in a dwelling is not commonly used on this side of the pond. Punny none the less.....
__________________
Currently BMW-less.
Appreciate 1
M5Rick67042.50
      02-14-2024, 06:18 AM   #1301
M5Rick
General
M5Rick's Avatar
67043
Rep
21,659
Posts

Drives: M5 F10 DCT Gunmetal
Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: GB

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by vreihen16 View Post
FYI, the term "flat" as in a dwelling is not commonly used on this side of the pond. Punny none the less.....
Indeed it is I believe referred to as 'condo'' (for short) or 'apartment' there.
Appreciate 1
vreihen1619583.50
      02-14-2024, 01:08 PM   #1302
vreihen16
Recovering Perfectionist
vreihen16's Avatar
19584
Rep
991
Posts

Drives: BMW-less :(
Join Date: Jun 2019
Location: Orange County, NY

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
Quote:
Originally Posted by M5Rick View Post
Indeed it is I believe referred to as 'condo'' (for short) or 'apartment' there.
An apartment is usually a one-floor rental.

A townhouse is a multi-floor rental.

A condominium is one of the above that you own like a regular house.

There's also a co-op, but I'm skipping that one.....
__________________
Currently BMW-less.
Appreciate 1
M5Rick67042.50
      02-14-2024, 01:22 PM   #1303
Esteban
Major General
Esteban's Avatar
United_States
52007
Rep
7,237
Posts

Drives: a slow car fast
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: SoCal

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by vreihen16 View Post
An apartment is usually a one-floor rental.

A townhouse is a multi-floor rental.

A condominium is one of the above that you own like a regular house.

There's also a co-op, but I'm skipping that one.....
I always thought the difference between a condo and a townhouse was the first is one-story and the latter is multi-story. Maybe I'm wrong.
Appreciate 0
      02-14-2024, 01:30 PM   #1304
Esteban
Major General
Esteban's Avatar
United_States
52007
Rep
7,237
Posts

Drives: a slow car fast
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: SoCal

iTrader: (0)

One morning Emma woke up with a start. Her husband Jim asked what was the matter, she told him, "I just had a dream that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it means?" "You'll know tonight," Jim said.

That evening, Jim came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, Emma opened it - only to find a book entitled "The meaning of dreams.”
Appreciate 2
Buug95921853.00
Llarry20758.00
      02-15-2024, 10:53 AM   #1305
MassWholeBimmer
Private First Class
2170
Rep
107
Posts

Drives: 2023 X5 M50i
Join Date: Aug 2023
Location: North East USA

iTrader: (0)

A Valentines day love story. One day late...


A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.

'What's the matter, dear' she whispers as she steps into the room, 'Why are you down here at this time of night.

The husband looks up from his coffee, 'It's the 20th Anniversary of the day we met.'

She can't believe he has remembered and starts to tear up.

The husband continues, 'Do you remember 20 years ago when we started dating, I was 18 and you were only 16,' he says solemnly.

Once again, the wife is touched to tears. 'Yes, I do' she replies.

The husband pauses The words were not coming easily. 'Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car'

'Yes, I remember' said the wife, lowering herself into the chair beside him.

The husband continued. 'Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter or I will send you to prison for 20 years'

'I remember that, too' she replied softly.

He wiped another tear from his cheek and said "I would have gotten out today."
__________________
2023. X5 M50i
2019. F150 SCREW 3.5 L Ecoboost
Appreciate 7
R BMW956.50
snowbimmer6267.00
Llarry20758.00
Buug95921853.00
Esteban52006.50
UncleWede18330.50
      02-16-2024, 03:02 PM   #1306
Buug959
Captain
Buug959's Avatar
Ukraine
21853
Rep
891
Posts

Drives: 335xi E90, GMC Sierra, VW Golf
Join Date: Jun 2020
Location: Nova Scotia

iTrader: (0)

There are 99 Blonds on a plane and 1 Brunette.

The captain radios in that they are going down, So they drop all the luggage.

They were still going down so they drop out all the chairs.

They were still going down so they dropped the floor.

So they are hanging by their hands from the top on the plane with no floor.

So the captain say’s “1 person jump out” the Brunette say’s “I’ll sacrifice my life”, and all the Blonds start clapping.
__________________
Wha' da ya mean? No brakes never stopped anyone before!
Appreciate 4
R BMW956.50
3.0L10043.50
KRS_SN14412.50
M5Rick67042.50
      02-19-2024, 05:44 PM   #1307
Buug959
Captain
Buug959's Avatar
Ukraine
21853
Rep
891
Posts

Drives: 335xi E90, GMC Sierra, VW Golf
Join Date: Jun 2020
Location: Nova Scotia

iTrader: (0)

What did one saggy boob say to the other?


We'd better start getting some support around here or people are gonna think we're nuts.
__________________
Wha' da ya mean? No brakes never stopped anyone before!
Appreciate 4
Esteban52006.50
R BMW956.50
BMWGUYinCO4300.00
KRS_SN14412.50
      02-19-2024, 07:22 PM   #1308
JimmyJazz
Private
United_States
573
Rep
93
Posts

Drives: 2020 M340i, 2009 PontiaG8GT,
Join Date: Jan 2022
Location: Lubbock TX USA

iTrader: (0)

An old motorcycle joke from the the days of leather seals and cork gaskets.
Why don’t the British make TV’s?
Because they can’t make them leak oil!
Appreciate 4
sygazelle12623.00
Buug95921853.00
3.0L10043.50
BMWGUYinCO4300.00
      02-20-2024, 06:04 AM   #1309
vreihen16
Recovering Perfectionist
vreihen16's Avatar
19584
Rep
991
Posts

Drives: BMW-less :(
Join Date: Jun 2019
Location: Orange County, NY

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
Q: Why do the British drink warm beer?

A: Lucas refrigerators.....
__________________
Currently BMW-less.
Appreciate 8
Llarry20758.00
3.0L10043.50
Buug95921853.00
Esteban52006.50
JimmyJazz572.50
BMWGUYinCO4300.00
sygazelle12623.00
M5Rick67042.50
      02-22-2024, 01:16 PM   #1310
Esteban
Major General
Esteban's Avatar
United_States
52007
Rep
7,237
Posts

Drives: a slow car fast
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: SoCal

iTrader: (0)

What do you need to be able to drive in the outback?

You need to show koala-fications.
Appreciate 3
BMWGUYinCO4300.00
shannon1656.50
Buug95921853.00
      03-03-2024, 01:05 PM   #1311
M5Rick
General
M5Rick's Avatar
67043
Rep
21,659
Posts

Drives: M5 F10 DCT Gunmetal
Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: GB

iTrader: (0)

Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
Appreciate 1
eliphil2616.50
      03-07-2024, 01:34 PM   #1312
Esteban
Major General
Esteban's Avatar
United_States
52007
Rep
7,237
Posts

Drives: a slow car fast
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: SoCal

iTrader: (0)

Did you hear about the pregnant bedbug?

She’s having her babies in the spring.
Appreciate 1
BMWGUYinCO4300.00
      03-08-2024, 05:28 AM   #1313
Llarry
Currently BMWless (sad)
Llarry's Avatar
20758
Rep
685
Posts

Drives: 2025 M850ix ordered
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Oregon

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
My wife yelled from the other room, "Do you ever have stabbing pains like somebody is stabbing a voodoo doll of you?"

"Nope" I replied.

"How about now?" she said.
__________________
'25 M850ix GC (Ordered)
BMW CCA 30 years
Appreciate 4
M5Rick67042.50
BMWGUYinCO4300.00
vreihen1619583.50
UncleWede18330.50
      03-08-2024, 11:03 AM   #1314
BMWGUYinCO
Second Lieutenant
BMWGUYinCO's Avatar
4300
Rep
284
Posts

Drives: 22 M850 Convertible '23 X3 M40
Join Date: Apr 2020
Location: Colorado

iTrader: (0)

Man, nostalgia ain't what it used to be.
Appreciate 5
Esteban52006.50
Llarry20758.00
vreihen1619583.50
flybigjet7587.50
M5Rick67042.50
      03-08-2024, 12:12 PM   #1315
Esteban
Major General
Esteban's Avatar
United_States
52007
Rep
7,237
Posts

Drives: a slow car fast
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: SoCal

iTrader: (0)

A few jokes from the internet about us older folks

What’s the secret to having a smoking hot body as a senior? Cremation.

I used to know a couple who grew fruit trees together. They lived to a ripe old age.

Old age makes us great multitaskers. Why, I can sneeze and pee at the same time.

One benefit of old age is that your secrets are always safe with your friends… because they can’t remember them.

Stop thinking of them as “hot flashes.” Think of them as your inner child playing with matches.

Now that I’ve gotten older, everything’s finally starting to click for me. My knees, my back, my neck…

I called the incontinence hotline recently. They asked if I could hold.
Appreciate 6
BMWGUYinCO4300.00
Llarry20758.00
Buug95921853.00
KRS_SN14412.50
CamasM3e933587.00
Andrew2180.50
      03-09-2024, 03:01 AM   #1316
M5Rick
General
M5Rick's Avatar
67043
Rep
21,659
Posts

Drives: M5 F10 DCT Gunmetal
Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: GB

iTrader: (0)

Some people think smoking is blowing smoke, but i think it's a real drag.
Appreciate 1
Buug95921853.00
      03-09-2024, 04:58 AM   #1317
Buug959
Captain
Buug959's Avatar
Ukraine
21853
Rep
891
Posts

Drives: 335xi E90, GMC Sierra, VW Golf
Join Date: Jun 2020
Location: Nova Scotia

iTrader: (0)

People will be shocked when they discover how bad an electrician I am.
__________________
Wha' da ya mean? No brakes never stopped anyone before!
Appreciate 6
vreihen1619583.50
KRS_SN14412.50
Esteban52006.50
M5Rick67042.50
BMWGUYinCO4300.00
      03-11-2024, 01:16 PM   #1318
sygazelle
Brigadier General
12623
Rep
3,435
Posts

Drives: 2014 328i M-Sport, 2019 X5 40i
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: San Francisco

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Buug959 View Post
People will be shocked when they discover how bad an electrician I am.
Why, isn't your electrical contractors license current?
Appreciate 3
Esteban52006.50
Buug95921853.00
vreihen1619583.50
      03-11-2024, 02:07 PM   #1319
snowbimmer
Colonel
snowbimmer's Avatar
United_States
6267
Rep
2,037
Posts

Drives: 2022 M850 GC - Carbon Black
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: PDX

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
2022 M850 GC  [9.67]
Quote:
Originally Posted by sygazelle View Post
Why, isn't your electrical contractors license current?
Oh, I get it. Took me a sec. Then I laughed and laughed. These jokes get me all amped up.
Appreciate 4
Esteban52006.50
Buug95921853.00
sygazelle12623.00
vreihen1619583.50
      03-11-2024, 02:10 PM   #1320
Esteban
Major General
Esteban's Avatar
United_States
52007
Rep
7,237
Posts

Drives: a slow car fast
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: SoCal

iTrader: (0)

What do electricians call a power outage?

A current event.
Appreciate 6
BMWGUYinCO4300.00
Buug95921853.00
sygazelle12623.00
KRS_SN14412.50
vreihen1619583.50
Post Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:50 AM.




zpost
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
1Addicts.com, BIMMERPOST.com, E90Post.com, F30Post.com, M3Post.com, ZPost.com, 5Post.com, 6Post.com, 7Post.com, XBimmers.com logo and trademark are properties of BIMMERPOST