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07-13-2023, 10:18 AM | #1102 |
Second Lieutenant
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Knock Knock
Who's there? Hike Hike Who? Unsuspecting friend Me, waiting with baited breath Sets the perfect trap. |
07-14-2023, 08:44 AM | #1104 |
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Drives: 2022 M440xi GC
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: Atlanta
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It burns.....
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07-16-2023, 02:55 AM | #1106 |
BMW driver
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A man asked his wife of many years "What would you do if I won the lottery?"
She responded "I'd take my half and leave you." He replied "I won $12 yesterday. Here's $6; be sure to keep in touch."
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'25 M850ix GC (Ordered)
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07-16-2023, 11:21 AM | #1107 |
General
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I was on my way to work today, when I saw a woman with her hazard lights on.
I thought myself, ''At least she's honest''. |
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07-21-2023, 08:27 PM | #1109 |
Colonel
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.
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2014 BMW M235i
2024 Mercedes Benz GLC300 Expert ultracrepidarian |
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07-25-2023, 05:14 AM | #1110 |
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What do you get when you cross Dracula with Sir Lancelot?
A bite in shining armour. |
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07-25-2023, 02:58 PM | #1111 |
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My dog ate a bunch of scrabble tiles, so I took him to the vet.
No word yet. |
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07-27-2023, 08:18 PM | #1112 | |
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Quote:
We bought our kids string cheese during their schools years. We had a Lab. Before I mowed the lawns on Saturday, I always cleared the land-mines before mowing. One day, I found a Lab deuce, complete with a string cheese wrapper imbedded along the side of the turd, complete with barcode. I about laughed my ass off.
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2014 BMW M235i
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07-31-2023, 02:46 PM | #1113 |
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I do all mathematical addition in my head.
It's the thought that counts. |
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08-03-2023, 06:18 AM | #1114 |
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A lorry has overturned on the M25 orbital motorway containing Vicks vapour rub.
Cops have said there will be no congestion for six hours. |
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08-08-2023, 04:23 PM | #1115 |
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I just saw a guy collapse on the airport luggage carousel!
I believe he is fine as he's slowly coming around. |
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08-11-2023, 12:02 PM | #1116 |
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Cops pulled up beside me and my Yamaha on the hard shoulder on the motorway today.
Apparently its not the place to play a keyboard. |
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08-11-2023, 06:05 PM | #1117 |
Captain
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Q: Why wouldn't the sesame seed leave the casino?
A: It was on a roll.
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Wha' da ya mean? No brakes never stopped anyone before!
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08-12-2023, 05:20 PM | #1118 |
Captain
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My wife complains that I don't buy her flowers.
To be honest, I didn't know she sold flowers.
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Wha' da ya mean? No brakes never stopped anyone before!
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08-14-2023, 12:46 PM | #1120 |
Professional Nomad
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What do you get when you play country music backwards?
You get your wife back, you get your job back, you get your truck back, you get your dog back ..... |
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08-14-2023, 01:43 PM | #1121 |
Recovering Perfectionist
19551
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Q: What's the difference between a tornado and an Arkansas divorce?
A: Absolutely nothing. In both cases, someone is going to lose a trailer!
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Currently BMW-less.
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