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04-02-2022, 05:54 PM | #45 | |
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You forgot that they stink of piss and will scratch your eyes out given a chance. |
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04-02-2022, 07:38 PM | #46 |
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Only if you don't come bearing leafy branches. Ya, but you'll succumb to their cuteness long before being torn to shreds by their claws
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The richest one percent of this country owns half our country's wealth, five trillion dollars. One third of that comes from hard work, two thirds comes from inheritance, interest on interest accumulating to widows and idiot sons and what I do, stock and real estate speculation...It's bullsh*t. I create nothing. I own. We make the rules, pal...Now you're not naive enough to think we're living in a democracy, are you buddy?
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04-03-2022, 02:23 AM | #47 | |
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04-03-2022, 01:24 PM | #50 |
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I feel more sorry for you since you're delusional.
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The richest one percent of this country owns half our country's wealth, five trillion dollars. One third of that comes from hard work, two thirds comes from inheritance, interest on interest accumulating to widows and idiot sons and what I do, stock and real estate speculation...It's bullsh*t. I create nothing. I own. We make the rules, pal...Now you're not naive enough to think we're living in a democracy, are you buddy?
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04-03-2022, 01:59 PM | #51 |
Bowties r cool ▶:◀
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04-03-2022, 02:19 PM | #52 | |
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The richest one percent of this country owns half our country's wealth, five trillion dollars. One third of that comes from hard work, two thirds comes from inheritance, interest on interest accumulating to widows and idiot sons and what I do, stock and real estate speculation...It's bullsh*t. I create nothing. I own. We make the rules, pal...Now you're not naive enough to think we're living in a democracy, are you buddy?
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04-03-2022, 04:21 PM | #54 |
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I always take life with a grain of salt. And a slice of lemon. And a shot of tequila.
Just burned 2,000 calories. That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
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E46, E60 M5, E93 M3, F15 X5
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04-04-2022, 07:17 AM | #56 |
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÷
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04-04-2022, 07:19 AM | #57 | |
Bowties r cool ▶:◀
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found another |
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04-04-2022, 12:30 PM | #58 |
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Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the street.
I asked him ''What's the word on the street' |
04-04-2022, 02:42 PM | #59 |
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Heard about that, supposedly it's not the same as the human clap but there is rare chance a human can get infected.
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The richest one percent of this country owns half our country's wealth, five trillion dollars. One third of that comes from hard work, two thirds comes from inheritance, interest on interest accumulating to widows and idiot sons and what I do, stock and real estate speculation...It's bullsh*t. I create nothing. I own. We make the rules, pal...Now you're not naive enough to think we're living in a democracy, are you buddy?
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04-04-2022, 06:38 PM | #60 |
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Three Russian workers were arrested and slung in the same prison cell.
Having nothing else to do, they start talking. Why are you in jail, Ivan? - My watch doesn't work well and I was late to work, I was accused of sabotaging production. And you Boris? - Oh mine too so, I played safe and was too early. I was accused of being a spy. How about you Alexei? - I was on time at work, so they accused me of having a watch made in the West |
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04-05-2022, 02:24 AM | #61 |
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Man tells his doc ''I need help, I'm addicted to Twitter''
Doc replies ''Sorry, I don't follow you...'' |
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04-05-2022, 10:21 AM | #62 |
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This lady replaced all the windows in her house with very expensive double pane, energy efficient windows. A year goes by and she gets a call from Home Depot. The man started complaining that the work had been done a year ago and that she still hadn't paid for them.
She says; Hellooo....just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I'm stupid. So, she tells him what his fast talking salesman had told her last year, that these windows would pay for themselves in a year. Hellooo, it's been a year, so they are paid for, she tells him. I bet you feel like an idiot, she says. There was only silence at the other end of the line, so she finally hang up. |
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04-05-2022, 10:39 AM | #63 |
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A guy walks into a bar and sees
3 pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling. The guy asks: "What's this about?" The bartender replies: "Well, if you can jump up and slap all 3 in one go, you get free drinks for the rest of the night. If you miss, you pay for everyone's drinks for the next hour. You wanna do it?" The guy replies: "Nah, the steaks are too high." |
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04-05-2022, 11:57 AM | #64 |
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A group of kindergartners were trying to become accustomed to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on no baby talk.
"You need to use 'big people' words," she'd always remind them. She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend. "I went to visit my Nana." "No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use big people words!" She then asked Mitchell what he had done. "I took a ride on a choo-choo." She said, "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. Use big people words." She then asked Little Johnny what he had done. "I read a book," he replied. "That's WONDERFUL!" the teacher said. "What book did you read?" Little Johnny thought about it, then puffed out his little chest with great pride and said, "Winnie the Shit."
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04-05-2022, 01:21 PM | #65 |
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A husband gets in the shower just as his wife is getting out, at the same time the door bell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door she sees Bill, their next door neighbor. Before she can say a word Bill says, I'll give you $500.00 if you drop the towel. She thinks for a moment and drops the towel and stands there naked in front of Bill. After a few seconds Bill hands her the $500.00 and leaves. She wraps herself in the towel again and goes back upstairs. When she walked in the bathroom her husband asks. Who was that at the door? She's says, it was Bill, the next door neighbor. He says, great, did he give you the $500.00 that he owes me?
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