You know you're old when...

[M_Six]

Or when you wake up in the morning and see you still have a half hour to snooze before the alarm, but...you have to pee.

[vreihen16]

...or when you're taking massive quantities of diuretics (aka: vitamin pee), and don't even make it back to the bed before you have to turn around for another drivers' lounge visit.....

[Esteban]

Originally Posted by M_Six

Or when you wake up in the morning and see you still have a half hour to snooze before the alarm, but...you have to pee.

What are you doing waking up to an alarm. Aren't you retired?

I don't wake up to no stinkin' alarm.

[M_Six]

Originally Posted by Esteban

What are you doing waking up to an alarm. Aren't you retired?

I don't wake up to no stinkin' alarm.

Wifey is still working. Although she rarely needs the alarm. She's usually up well before it goes off.

[UncleWede]

You can’t: drive 3 hours with 7000’ elevation change without the ortho sending you to ER to check for blood clot

Negative, but wife says this is a soccer career ending injury

[M_Six]

Low dose aspirin time?

[Esteban]

Originally Posted by M_Six

Low dose aspirin time?

Years ago my doctor prescribed a low-dose aspirin regimen. Had to stop taking it. Made me bleed from my stomach and cough up blood.

Took weeks to find out why I was bleeding. Then someone asked are you taking aspirin? I said yes. They said stop. So I stopped. And the bleeding stopped.

[M_Six]

Originally Posted by Esteban

Years ago my doctor prescribed a low-dose aspirin regimen. Had to stop taking it. Made me bleed from my stomach and cough up blood.

Took weeks to find out why I was bleeding. Then someone asked are you taking aspirin? I said yes. They said stop. So I stopped. And the bleeding stopped.

I was on low dose aspirin for years and stopped because I was worried what you just described. But after some test results last summer, a cardio doc I saw said (for me anyway) the risks from taking the aspirin are less than the risk of clots, so take the aspirin. He said if I start having issues with bleeding, they'd look at other alternatives.

[Esteban]

Originally Posted by M_Six

I was on low dose aspirin for years and stopped because I was worried what you just described. But after some test results last summer, a cardio doc I saw said (for me anyway) the risks from taking the aspirin are less than the risk of clots, so take the aspirin. He said if I start having issues with bleeding, they'd look at other alternatives.

Always had trouble with aspirin. Gave me a bad stomach ache. Thought the enteric coated low-dose aspirin would be okay. It wasn’t, though.

Switched medical groups and lost my cardiologist. You reminded me it’s time to find a new one. I’m seeing my PCP this Friday and going to ask for a referral.

[vreihen16]

Originally Posted by UncleWede

Negative, but wife says this is a soccer career ending injury

Condolences from the thread's resident amateur race car driver who was forced into medical retirement eight years ago.....

[Llarry]

Floor

[M_Six]

Originally Posted by Llarry

Floor

So true. And why is that?

[Llarry]

Originally Posted by M_Six

So true. And why is that?

Because we are old and decrepit, I would guess.

[vreihen16]

Originally Posted by Llarry

Floor

Amen!!!

I was at a distant Tractor Supply store a few weeks ago, and saw an E-track hand strap loop that clipped into the cargo restraints in the almost-Mighty Freightliner. I threw it into our cart without even looking at the price. My DW asked me why I wanted it, and I answered "Help me! I've fallen and I can't get up!"

For the record, I already used it more than once this past weekend.....

[UncleWede]

Originally Posted by vreihen16

Condolences from the thread's resident amateur race car driver who was forced into medical retirement eight years ago.....

She told me to find a sport that uses my brain
da fuq???

I guess it’s back to the weights in the gym. They usually have some 2.5lb barbells

[3798j]

Posting here so there's no "who's he?"..."what's a carburetor?"

RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE
1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.
3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."
8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!".
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was 'Always'.
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!".

[M_Six]

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was 'Always'.

This! LOL

[dradernh]

Originally Posted by 3798j

Posting here so there's no "who's he?"..."what's a carburetor?"

RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE
1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.
3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."
8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!".
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was 'Always'.
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!".

Red Skelton was my favorite comedian during that era. I enjoyed him best when he was doing his Clem Kadiddlehopper routine.

Another one of his: "There are three signs of old age: loss of memory...I forget the other two."

[Esteban]

Originally Posted by 3798j

RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE

Used to watch his TV show every week. A comic genius. Always ended his show with his signature closing line; "good night and may God bless."

“The Red Skelton Show is an American television comedy/variety show that aired from 1951 to 1971. In the decade prior to hosting the show, Richard "Red" Skelton had a successful career as a radio and motion pictures star. Although his television series is largely associated with CBS, where it appeared for more than sixteen years, it actually began and ended on NBC. During its run, the program received three Emmy Awards, for Skelton as best comedian and the program as best comedy show during its initial season, and an award for comedy writing in 1961. In 1959 Skelton also received a Golden Globe for Best TV Show.”

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Red_Skelton_Show