The joke thread, pics are not necessary

Buug959 · 03-24-2023, 08:17 AM

I once tried to works as a scarecrow but hay, it's just not in my jeans.

Buug959 · 03-24-2023, 08:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by M5Rick

A wonderful bird is the pelican
His bill holds more than his belican
He can take in his beak
Enough food for a week
But I'm damned if I see how the helican

FTFY

DocL · 03-24-2023, 09:36 AM

Just a little update on the situation with my son because some of you have been pretty concerned in your PMs. Thank you for that.

He's taken going to jail pretty hard. He's refusing all food, he's swearing and screaming and is highly unpleasant with anyone who comes near him. He's graffitied the walls and is refusing to wear clothes.

As a family we are pretty united in our decision never to play Monopoly with him ever again. ��

Esteban · 03-24-2023, 11:29 AM

Q: What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex.

A: Oral sex makes your day. Anal sex makes her hole weak.

M5Rick · 03-24-2023, 01:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buug959

FTFY

Well spotted Buug959!

DocL · 03-25-2023, 09:13 AM

What's the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer? The taste.

M5Rick · 03-25-2023, 03:53 PM

There once was a lady named Ferris
Whom nothing could ever embarrass
'Til the bath salts one day,
in the tub where she lay,
turned out to be Plaster of Paris.

R BMW · 03-28-2023, 12:38 PM

Fluffy

M5Rick · 03-29-2023, 05:43 AM

One Saturday morning at three,
A cheese-monger's shop in Paree
Collapsed to the ground
With a thunderous sound
Leaving only a pile of de brie.

M5Rick · Yesterday, 02:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buug959

I once tried to works as a scarecrow but hay, it's just not in my jeans.

Probably would have scared the crows if you tried it

Buug959 · Yesterday, 04:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by M5Rick

Probably would have scared the crows if you tried it

There's no doubt in my mind.

M5Rick · Yesterday, 05:32 AM

A flee and a fly in a flue
Were imprisoned, so what could they do?
Said the fly,''let us flee!''
''Let us fly!'' said the flea
So they flew through a flaw in the flue.

03-24-2023, 08:17 AM	#1035
Buug959 Captain 12625 Rep 863 Posts Drives: 335xi E90, GMC Sierra, VW Golf Join Date: Jun 2020 Location: Nova Scotia iTrader: (0)	I once tried to works as a scarecrow but hay, it's just not in my jeans. __________________ Wha' da ya mean? No brakes never stopped anyone before!
	Appreciate 5 BMWGUYinCO2834.50 Esteban27711.50 M5Rick42595.00 KRS_SN8883.00 Llarry3435.00 Quote

03-24-2023, 09:36 AM	#1037
DocL Captain 1681 Rep 746 Posts Drives: 2018 M3 Join Date: Jan 2019 Location: S Fla iTrader: (2)	Just a little update on the situation with my son because some of you have been pretty concerned in your PMs. Thank you for that. He's taken going to jail pretty hard. He's refusing all food, he's swearing and screaming and is highly unpleasant with anyone who comes near him. He's graffitied the walls and is refusing to wear clothes. As a family we are pretty united in our decision never to play Monopoly with him ever again. �� __________________ 2018 F80 M3. YMB/BLK. ZCP. Three Pedals. "Education will never be as expensive as ignorance."
	Appreciate 7 BMWGUYinCO2834.50 Samurai of 2day1825.50 Esteban27711.50 Buug95912625.00 2000cs3083.00 Llarry3435.00 KRS_SN8883.00 Quote

03-24-2023, 11:29 AM	#1038
Esteban Major General 27712 Rep 7,135 Posts Drives: a slow car fast Join Date: Jun 2014 Location: SoCal iTrader: (0)	Q: What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex. A: Oral sex makes your day. Anal sex makes her hole weak. __________________
	Appreciate 2 Buug95912625.00 KRS_SN8883.00 Quote

03-25-2023, 09:13 AM	#1040
DocL Captain 1681 Rep 746 Posts Drives: 2018 M3 Join Date: Jan 2019 Location: S Fla iTrader: (2)	What's the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer? The taste. __________________ 2018 F80 M3. YMB/BLK. ZCP. Three Pedals. "Education will never be as expensive as ignorance."
	Appreciate 1 Buug95912625.00 Quote

03-25-2023, 03:53 PM	#1041
M5Rick Lieutenant General 42595 Rep 14,621 Posts Drives: M5 F10 DCT Gunmetal Join Date: Aug 2018 Location: Southern England iTrader: (0) Garage List '11 Honda Type S VTEC [0.00] '10 CLK200k S cabrio [0.50]	There once was a lady named Ferris Whom nothing could ever embarrass 'Til the bath salts one day, in the tub where she lay, turned out to be Plaster of Paris. Last edited by M5Rick; 03-26-2023 at 07:46 AM..
	Appreciate 1 Buug95912625.00 Quote

03-28-2023, 12:38 PM	#1042
R BMW Private First Class 155 Rep 175 Posts Drives: 2014 328Xi GT, 2020 X3 MC Join Date: Apr 2019 Location: Minnesota iTrader: (0) Garage List 2020 BMW X3 M Comp [0.00] 2014 328Xi GT [10.00]	Fluffy
	Appreciate 3 Esteban27711.50 KRS_SN8883.00 Buug95912625.00 Quote

03-29-2023, 05:43 AM	#1043
M5Rick Lieutenant General 42595 Rep 14,621 Posts Drives: M5 F10 DCT Gunmetal Join Date: Aug 2018 Location: Southern England iTrader: (0) Garage List '11 Honda Type S VTEC [0.00] '10 CLK200k S cabrio [0.50]	One Saturday morning at three, A cheese-monger's shop in Paree Collapsed to the ground With a thunderous sound Leaving only a pile of de brie.
	Appreciate 2 Llarry3435.00 Buug95912625.00 Quote

Yesterday, 05:32 AM	#1046
M5Rick Lieutenant General 42595 Rep 14,621 Posts Drives: M5 F10 DCT Gunmetal Join Date: Aug 2018 Location: Southern England iTrader: (0) Garage List '11 Honda Type S VTEC [0.00] '10 CLK200k S cabrio [0.50]	A flee and a fly in a flue Were imprisoned, so what could they do? Said the fly,''let us flee!'' ''Let us fly!'' said the flea So they flew through a flaw in the flue.
	Appreciate 0 Quote

Thread Tools	Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Email this Page	Search this Thread: Advanced Search