Dating - Good/Bad Experiences

[Sedan_Clan]

Originally Posted by TiMSport

"S" is for Sedan, right?

Yep…..!!! "S" for Sexy, Steven, Sedan …..alllll the S's.

[TiMSport]

Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan

Yep…..!!! "S" for Sexy, Steven, Sedan…..alllll the S's.

Shiiiiiit.

[Sedan_Clan]

Originally Posted by TiMSport

Shiiiiiit.

Hahahaha! Well I am kind of a shit brown skin color.


On another note….


….What are some of the insecurities my fellow forum mates deal with in relationships? I can't be the only one who has them.

[ryan stewart]

So dude got the axe? I guess those people PMing him e-high5in him will have to go to r/thathappened to get their fix.

Originally Posted by Alfisti

This thread is the only thing stopping me from getting unmarried, what a tyre fire.

I think that causes a lot of people to stay in relationships they don't want to be in. That was really my point in responding to turkishpickle about the whole "worst things than dying alone." Not to be negative but to say that you shouldn't be afraid of just being ALONE.

I ended a relationship after 10 years and it was one of the best decisions I had made in years. I went into it planning to be alone for a while, I was prepared for it, knowing at least then I was free to do my own things for a bit.

I did a brief period of dating cold (aka meeting people I had no other relationship with) but quickly ended up getting setup because a few women with mutual friends were like "let me know if he is ever single." Its been kind of off and on (mostly on) since then and not because its really bad or anything but Im coming from a different mindset now knowing that just being a single guy for a while isn't actually bad.

I'm sure if I dealt with a long dry spell I might feel different. But if you have a good friend group, hobbies, etc you'll find you'll be too busy to be lonely because there are all of the things you were consciously (or even unconsciously) deferring for the sake of the relationship. And honestly I think that mindset impacted the opposite sex anyway, once I was basically down for anything and able to chill for a while girls in my circle all started coming out of the woodwork because of the new vibe I was putting out.

[Sedan_Clan]

Originally Posted by ryan stewart

So dude got the axe? I guess those people PMing him e-high5in him will have to go to r/thathappened to get their fix.

I think that causes a lot of people to stay in relationships they don't want to be in. That was really my point in responding to turkishpickle about the whole "worst things than dying alone." Not to be negative but to say that you shouldn't be afraid of just being ALONE.

I ended a relationship after 10 years and it was one of the best decisions I had made in years. I went into it planning to be alone for a while, I was prepared for it, knowing at least then I was free to do my own things for a bit.

I did a brief period of dating cold (aka meeting people I had no other relationship with) but quickly ended up getting setup because a few women with mutual friends were like "let me know if he is ever single." Its been kind of off and on (mostly on) since then and not because its really bad or anything but Im coming from a different mindset now knowing that just being a single guy for a while isn't actually bad.

I'm sure if I dealt with a long dry spell I might feel different. But if you have a good friend group, hobbies, etc you'll find you'll be too busy to be lonely because there are all of the things you were consciously (or even unconsciously) deferring for the sake of the relationship. And honestly I think that mindset impacted the opposite sex anyway, once I was basically down for anything and able to chill for a while girls in my circle all started coming out of the woodwork because of the new vibe I was putting out.

If you don't mind sharing, what made you end the decade long relationship?

[Alfisti]

I'm not afraid of being alone, i could do a few years easily. In fact if things went pear shaped i don't think i would couple up.

[ryan stewart]

Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan

If you don't mind sharing, what made you end the decade long relationship?

Waiting about 3 years too long.

She changed, I changed, she changed. She used to be fun, vibrant, etc. We met in school. She had this really awesome career lined up, got a full ride with a salary even at one of the top schools for what she was wanting to do, was planning on a career in Europe (which aligned with what I was doing too).

I even moved to Atlanta to be with her, risked my career but through some legitimate luck (and hard work but I can admit I drew the longest of straws) ended up blowing away my previous career path (huge industry player, no more travel, and fat stacks, etc). Bought a house, starting making friends now that I wasn't on the road, building the type of life I could have never imagined even remotely possible when I was growing up white trash in KS.

At the same time she unilaterally decided to go off antidepressants that I never even knew she was on, became one of those people who can suck the life out of a room, decided school was hard and constantly wanted to quit, and then decided she didnt want the career she spent a decade working towards, became a flake. Stopped working out, getting fat, etc.

Honestly the moment I lost respect for her it was done, we were going in completely opposite directions. But you know how you feel invested in people. So I kept trying. Finally in the last year I was like, "Nah, cant do this anymore. You need to change else I'm done." She made promises, went through the motions, etc. but it was all basically superficial, we were basically polar opposites at that point.

So, being who I am and her not being a horrible person, I basically stood her up like a child. Steered her into a stable job, helped her get her affairs in order (no real debt, reliable car, etc.), and then told her I'm done and to move out. I helped her get a place, gave her some furniture, even helped her move. And didn't tell anyone but literally my 3 closest friends until she was gone, we had common circles and I wasn't going to date until she was completely out of my life so I didn't have to worry about whispers undermining me.

The last communication I had with her was like a month later asking if she got any mail at my place and I just said "nope." I was that just done.

[shoei]

Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan

Awesome! I will take it to a store to have "L & S" engraved on the heart in some nice font; it's both of our initials……..or is that just too corny? Lol!

I'm… worried about your well being and mental state.

[UncleWede]

Sedan_Clan Can you fit 3 initals on the heart?

911



P.S. get the card to the kid NOW, so he can start mining.

[Mein11]

Originally Posted by King Rudi

My bad. I saw the pattern, even commented on it and fell prey to my own demise.

I feel like the dating shenanigans are widely-spread, but I also feel like much is regional-based. Also depends on what platform a person is using.

Trust me, I usually feed into that, but that's also why I've been banned so many times. LOL.

Valid point. So there was a chick I matched on Tinder back in NC. Our exchange was bud for sex, no strings. Okay fine and dandy. Drive out to her house (a trailer in the middle of nowhere over an hour away), front door was a...., sheet, brothers and friends all hanging around. It was weird. Then she says can we go stop by my friends place, which she then wanted to trade said bud for pills. Trashy, but I felt pot committed, and it was about midnight at this point. Ended up saying fuck it (not her sadly..., or gladly), drove her home, then drove an hour back, broke my mirror off the BMW on someone's mailbox (also broke and ripped out of the ground) in the neighborhood because I was tired as fuck and not paying attention. Somehow managed to get to work at 7am.


That was a hard learned lesson on what Tinder has to offer.

[heitzke]

Originally Posted by Mein11

Trust me, I usually feed into that, but that's also why I've been banned so many times. LOL.

Valid point. So there was a chick I matched on Tinder back in NC. Our exchange was bud for sex, no strings. Okay fine and dandy. Drive out to her house (a trailer in the middle of nowhere over an hour away), front door was a...., sheet, brothers and friends all hanging around. It was weird. Then she says can we go stop by my friends place, which she then wanted to trade said bud for pills. Trashy, but I felt pot committed, and it was about midnight at this point. Ended up saying fuck it (not her sadly..., or gladly), drove her home, then drove an hour back, broke my mirror off the BMW on someone's mailbox (also broke and ripped out of the ground) in the neighborhood because I was tired as fuck and not paying attention. Somehow managed to get to work at 7am.


That was a hard learned lesson on what Tinder has to offer.

Yikes, that's a bad one haha.

I can also add a scary one to the list. Matched with a chick on Tinder, all seemed super normal. Responsive, not canned conversation and nothing to suggest it was a fake/bot account. They were about 15min north of me, and we made plans for me to come over that night. All totally cool.

Got busy during the day and convo dropped off. I picked back up a little bit before the time I was supposed to meet over there. No response, nbd. I got ready real quick and since I was running late I just jumped in the truck (had a Raptor at the time) and rolled on up that way. Texted her again "Hey i'm otw, be there in about 10"

Got to the address. Normal residential neighborhood, nothing suspect. All lights were off in the house, also not a big deal. I couldn't see a number on the house or see inside, so I walked over to the mailbox to check on a piece. Right house... the damn thing was STUFFED full of like months of mail. The house was totally abandoned and had been for some time.

I noped the FUCK out of there and literally ran back to my truck and headed back home. I suspect is was an attempted robbery/car jacking scenario so... be careful out there?

[Mein11]

Originally Posted by heitzke

I noped the FUCK out of there and literally ran back to my truck and headed back home. I suspect is was an attempted robbery/car jacking scenario so... be careful out there?

Hmmm...., strange. Could have been a robbery attempt, or someone who was bored with their own life and trolled on others. Fucked up either way!

[Turkish Pickle]

HOOOOOO BOY

1- do i have a few stories about insecurities in a relationship, partly reason why i self-destructed mine and lost respect for her a few times over

2- boy do i have some choice words about a person that can suck the energy out of a room… idk if it was depression or other issues (she had a lot. she genuinely tried to be good 80% of the time and i think just couldnt help it the remaining 20%)

i hate texting on my phone (you guys made me feel old already) but at home i PROMISE i will be spilling some beans.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan

Awesome! I will take it to a store to have "L & S" engraved on the heart in some nice font; it's both of our initials……..or is that just too corny? Lol!

Honest opinion on this. I'd only do her initials. By adding yours, you are putting an expiration date on a gift and jewelry. Look at this way, if she were to buy you a bad ass watch, then had her initials on it; after you break up, how likely are you to continue to wear the watch? Even if you were cool to wear it after the break up, if you are wearing it and another female inquires about the engraving.....

Just a thought. Been down this road. The ex-wife had a really nice watch that her ex-husbands parents bought for her. I'm a watch guy so I commented on it in the early days. She explained the situation and it became a sore subject after. Then she got to where she only wore it when she wanted to piss me off. If you were married, totally do both initials as it becomes something greater after that.

[cmyx6go]

Originally Posted by King Rudi

Honest opinion on this. I'd only do her initials. By adding yours, you are putting an expiration date on a gift and jewelry. Look at this way, if she were to buy you a bad ass watch, then had her initials on it; after you break up, how likely are you to continue to wear the watch? Even if you were cool to wear it after the break up, if you are wearing it and another female inquires about the engraving.....

Just a thought. Been down this road. The ex-wife had a really nice watch that her ex-husbands parents bought for her. I'm a watch guy so I commented on it in the early days. She explained the situation and it became a sore subject after. Then she got to where she only wore it when she wanted to piss me off. If you were married, totally do both initials as it becomes something greater after that.

I disagree. It's a bracelet with a small heart - that calls for both initials. I'd be scratching my head if I got that gift with only my initials.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by cmyx6go

I disagree. It's a bracelet with a small heart - that calls for both initials. I'd be scratching my head if I got that gift with only my initials.

Alright.

[rebekahb]

I would vote maybe her initial monogram on the back of the heart. I'm not overly sentimental. I love my husband but having our initials together on a piece of jewelry is just not my thing.

[dinonz]

Wow - what a breath of fresh air! Smells cleaner and fresher in here - the smell of bullshit has faded already!

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by dinonz

Wow - what a breath of fresh air! Smells cleaner and fresher in here - the smell of bullshit has faded already!

Agreed! It just "feels" better in here.

[Mein11]

In regards to the bracelet...., no initials at all. Personalized shit is weird to me.

[Sedan_Clan]

Thanks for the varying opinions. I appreciate them all. The perspectives definitely provide me some options to consider as it pertains to the bracelet. Admittedly, the thought of engraving only her initials is my least favorite of the suggested options. I feel inclined to either avoid engraving altogether or go with our initials.

This relationship is emotional significant/substantial for a myriad of reasons (…I'll explain after briefing at 1420 hours; we're preparing for unrest related to the Rittenhouse trial), that's why our initials sounded like such a great idea.

[TiMSport]

I'd say go w/o the initials. This is just one of many opinions obviously.