Happily Married? Myth or Reality?

[martieg]

I've been happily married for 13 years, we have four kids, and I wouldn't change any of that if I'd have the chance to go back and start all over.

What do I think I did right? I took the time to chose the right person, and to know her well before committing; I'm flexible and honest, and she's like that too; we have an open and honest communication on a daily basis; and most importantly, the one I think is the best: we agreed before getting married that we would never go to bed mad at each other, we would make peace before putting our heads on the pillows. Talk about commitment!!

[shim]

Originally Posted by bavarian19

If you marry the right person to begin with, then its not an issue. I think some people jsut end up rushing into it.

Im not getting married for another decade

well said. i totally agree

[Sedan_Clan]

Originally Posted by docbolo

Hi folks. I was wondering if there are any truly happily married folks out there anymore? Sure maybe your parents were. I am talking about modern day times. I have yet to meet one. Sometimes people will tell you they are but they usually (in my limited experience) fall into 1 or more of three categories:

1. they are lying/in denial/ too much trouble to divorce
2. they are cheating like crazy to satisfy what they don't get at home
3. they are newlywed and either divorce soon or go into category 1 or 2 soon

What are your thoughts? Am I totally wrong here? I hope so.

You didn't give enough options. How about...

• They are happily married, but do experience troubled times occasionally

No marriage is perfect; it's constant work. Couples will experience a variety of things that will test the marriage. It truly comes down to whether the couple is willing to work through the tough times, or leave under the pretense that the "grass is greener on the other side"...........which it rarely is.

[MIKEYMIKE]

Just remember this...

You can't turn a Ho into a Housewife, cuz ho's don't act right! -Luda

[StewtheBassman]

I met my wife at work, married her two years later, when I was 34, and ten years later, I keep finding things I love about her, and I think she about me. We give each other a ton of space, trust, respect and forgiveness (all that equals love, BTW). We have two beautiful children who we realize need us both.
BTW we're both from "broken" homes, and we don't wish to visit that upon our own children.

I'm so glad I waited to "grow up" a little before I committed to her.

We waited until we had known each other 7 years to have our first child. During those first years we travelled a lot, bought and sold a few houses, and generally had fun together.

I can't believe that I could have spent the last 12 years with the same person, but it's been amazing and I hope we go on another 50 years!

To the OP, the posts from happily married people are not BS. There are troubles from time to time, but if you were ready for marriage in the first place, you'll want to work them through.

Nice to see so many happily married people here!

[- Paul -]

Originally Posted by StewtheBassman

I met my wife at work, married her two years later, when I was 34, and ten years later, I keep finding things I love about her, and I think she about me. We give each other a ton of space, trust, respect and forgiveness (all that equals love, BTW). We have two beautiful children who we realize need us both.
BTW we're both from "broken" homes, and we don't wish to visit that upon our own children.

I'm so glad I waited to "grow up" a little before I committed to her.

We waited until we had known each other 7 years to have our first child. During those first years we travelled a lot, bought and sold a few houses, and generally had fun together.

I can't believe that I could have spent the last 12 years with the same person, but it's been amazing and I hope we go on another 50 years!

To the OP, the posts from happily married people are not BS. There are troubles from time to time, but if you were ready for marriage in the first place, you'll want to work them through.

Nice to see so many happily married people here!

I met my soon to be wife at work - I'm getting married at 34 also. We waited 5 years to our first child. - All I hope is that we are as happy as you sound. Don't see why not!!!

[KennyVendetta]

I think happy marriages are possible as long the two people have the same values, great communication and committment to one another.

Too many people are in love with the idea of marriage without thinking it though.

And I think a big proble is that people make being a married a goal in life. That's pretty stupid...especially when they put a timeline on it i.e. "I want to be married by age 28."

Marriage is an option in life...not an ultimate goal.

[foofighter]

I was fortunate to have found my best friend and wife. took me 34 years to find her and one other engagement but i found her. The best woman, friend, and mother to my kids I will ever find. I speak to her freely like she is one of my guy friends...tell her things that I wouldnt tell my friends.

It maybe cliche but her and I were truly two peas in a pod...I believe in the institution of marriage. We both work at it and communicate

[MG_2006325i_KG]

yeah we'll we are about to split and we have a 19month old.....sure we'll def remain good friends but in the love dept, there is just nothing there. We "eloped" in Vegas after meeting 8 months earlier....long story short is that her fam was moving and we did want the L/D relationship so we figured what the hell let's give it a shot.....we both realize that its not working and we have agreed on who is getting what and splitting the son every two weeks....I know I will probably get bashed for this, but would you rather raise a son in two seperate happy households or one miserable one?

[MIKEYMIKE]

^
Who are we to judge you? You gotta do what you think is right

[MG_2006325i_KG]

true but people judging people is the norm nowadays

[Sedan_Clan]

Originally Posted by MG_2006325i_KG

yeah we'll we are about to split and we have a 19month old.....sure we'll def remain good friends but in the love dept, there is just nothing there. We "eloped" in Vegas after meeting 8 months earlier....long story short is that her fam was moving and we did want the L/D relationship so we figured what the hell let's give it a shot.....we both realize that its not working and we have agreed on who is getting what and splitting the son every two weeks....I know I will probably get bashed for this, but would you rather raise a son in two seperate happy households or one miserable one?

Like the other member said, we're not here to judge you. It does seem as though you entered into a marriage hastily, but there is a child involved now.
Do you truly believe that you're putting the child first? Broken homes are too commonplace nowadays, and rarely do such situations benefit the child. Maybe the problems in your relationship are brought forth because of selfishness, ego, lack of communication and/or compromise from both parties. What efforts have been enacted by you and your wife to attempt to salvage the relationship (..i.e...marriage counseling, church counseling - if you are religious -, self-help literature, etc.)? In today's society, it is apparent that the first instinct in many relationships/marriages is to bail out. Where is the sense of devotion and accountability? Why do so many people have problems dealing with the root issues within the relationship?

[MIKEYMIKE]

Originally Posted by MG_2006325i_KG

true but people judging people is the norm nowadays

Word