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One brother in law is morbidly obese with ankles swelled like balloons from edema, yet insists to bring a bottle of homemade wine with him when he goes visiting. One sister in law hits my wife up for rides to her many Dr. appointments and insists on stopping at mickey d's for burgers and a LARGE coke each time.
I would certainly never say anything to them about it, ppl have to make their own decisions and live (or not) the way they feel is appropriate. You bet your azz I judge in private to mrs. jake tho, it doesn't hurt to reiterate the ways I DON'T intend for either of us to end up.
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