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      09-16-2021, 12:14 PM   #48
ntg44
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mason Hatcher View Post
Of course it is. You are making excuses and arguing with those who are trying to help you. Feel free to ignore the advice, but it is stupid to argue with us.

For those reasons, I'm out
I agree. This isn't unique to Asian parents. My parents are first generation immigrants from Europe and this story is exactly the same as mine.

The truth is OP as someone who's gone through this, you are the one holding yourself back, not your parents. I complained about the exact same thing until I finally just went and did it, although it was at age 26. However, I used the opportunity out of college to save as much money as I could to be in the position to do that.

At the end of the day, you can either bitch and live under your parents rules and safety net, or you man up, take the leap, and go out on your own. Once you are fully committed to sink or swim, that is what earns your parents' respect. Until then, you'll never be treated seriously.

I only know this because I struggled with this for a very long time during and after I graduated college. It took many years, and my parents used every tactic in the book to manipulate me into staying. But the truth is and always will be that the reason they control you is because you're letting them. And you can't make your parents happy all the time AND get respect from them. When I finally moved out, it took years for my mom specifically to not burst into tears when I left after visiting. And she never really got over it until about a year after I got married, and even now she still brings up my leaving.

At 23, I can't say I was prepared to jump ship like you. But if you feel strongly enough about it, the only option is to commit and to live your own life. Your parents won't be happy with you for a very long time. But you'll be happy, and they will respect you for it once you've proven you can make it on your own. As long as you're still under their roof, they never will.
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