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My wife and I both own small businesses so I feel your pain. Luckily I've been dealing with the same very small bank (just a handful of branches) since I was 16. Did a refi last year and it was smooth sailing, nothing additional was asked for. They may not have the newest tech and a little higher rate but there are perks to small banks when you own businesses.
Wish the best of luck to you! Hopefully your wife doesn't take it personally if you need to remove her from the loan. She just needs to realize that the harder you work the more you are penalized, crazy times we live in.
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