How to tell your boss "I'm not here to be someone's bitch" in a professional way

[Nkc]

So why don't you just suck it up and do it? You really think a job allows you to do only what you want?

[dreamingat30fps]

Originally Posted by Nkc

So why don't you just suck it up and do it? You really think a job allows you to do only what you want?

Personally I would stick to the collecting paychecks part. The rest is meh.

[dave0352usmc]

OP would die in the Marine Corps...

[Templar]

Originally Posted by BMWFB02

It's my job. I've done it many times in different places but this has been the dream place. Now that I'm here I feel that it's not what I signed up for.

If what you are being told to do is your job, it doesn't matter where it is. Do your job and stop complaining. You're not entitled to any special treatment.

You can quit, but do it professionally. If you burn any bridges on your way out you can kiss any good referrals goodbye.

[Repoman]

Originally Posted by dreamingat30fps

Personally I would stick to the collecting paychecks part. The rest is meh.

1. Collect checks while looking for a different job.
2. Hope that new job isn't worse than the new one.
3. Do a couple of donuts in the parking lot on the way out of your old job.

ok... maybe skip #3... don't burn bridges.

[Whostheboss]

If you need advice, it shows that you are the shy type or weak type.
You dont need advice on what to say. Just say exctly what it is.

The only advice i can give is to make sure you do not send e-mail, phone call or text message. Just kindly walk up to him/her FACE to FACE and say, "I appreciate being given this opportunity to work but i don't appreciate the disrespectful and rude manners you have towards me"

[Billup]

You: "Boss, I understand you have already put in your time to be where you are, and while I respect your authority, I feel like you have made me your "bitch" and I can not handle it anymore. I am a man, and would like to be treated as such. Granted if I were in your shoes getting your paychecks, I probably wouldn't care what someone lower on the chain thinks either, but you really hurt my feelings, last night I went home and kicked my dog. Please consider not only my feelings, but now my dogs feelings are involved. I digress."

[bing240sx]

it can only be done is you are exceptional at your job and difficult to replace.

if you are easily replaced then you should STFU until that isn't true anymore.

[Nkc]

Originally Posted by Billup

You: "Boss, I understand you have already put in your time to be where you are, and while I respect your authority, I feel like you have made me your "bitch" and I can not handle it anymore. I am a man, and would like to be treated as such. Granted if I were in your shoes getting your paychecks, I probably wouldn't care what someone lower on the chain thinks either, but you really hurt my feelings, last night I went home and kicked my dog. Please consider not only my feelings, but now my dogs feelings are involved. I digress."

Bang on. Word for word. Probably the best way to tell him straight up.

[ddk632]

^^

Don't forget to ask for veterinary fees for your dog's anxiety and depression medication.

[radix]

Originally Posted by Billup

You: "Boss, I understand you have already put in your time to be where you are, and while I respect your authority, I feel like you have made me your "bitch" and I can not handle it anymore. I am a man, and would like to be treated as such. Granted if I were in your shoes getting your paychecks, I probably wouldn't care what someone lower on the chain thinks either, but you really hurt my feelings, last night I went home and kicked my dog. Please consider not only my feelings, but now my dogs feelings are involved. I digress."

So you plan is to insult your boss? LOL. The bold part not only directly states that he doesn't care what you think, but if roles were reversed you wouldn't either.

Frankly, I think this advice is terrible and he would do better just to look for another job prior to tendering his resignation, but a better way to phrase what you're getting at here is:

"I understand you have to make difficult decisions regarding tasks and deadlines, but my work/life balance has been very difficult to maintain as of late. Do you have any suggestions as to how I might restore some balance?"

If you phrase the question such that he gets to be in charge and help you without an implied insult, you will greatly increase your odds of success.

With that said, see my first two posts.

[Billup]

Originally Posted by jh valley

So you plan is to insult your boss? LOL. The bold part not only directly states that he doesn't care what you think, but if roles were reversed you wouldn't either.

Frankly, I think this advice is terrible and he would do better just to look for another job prior to tendering his resignation, but a better way to phrase what you're getting at here is:

"I understand you have to make difficult decisions regarding tasks and deadlines, but my work/life balance has been very difficult to maintain as of late. Do you have any suggestions as to how I might restore some balance?"

If you phrase the question such that he gets to be in charge and help you without an implied insult, you will greatly increase your odds of success.

With that said, see my first two posts.

I think you grossly misinterpreted the notion behind my comment. If someone should say that to their boss, I hope they have a mini cam attached to their shirt and share the results.

Was simply sarcasm. OP has some good responses in here, but its the real world. If you don't like where you work or who you work for, either address it or find a job elsewhere.

[Spinny02]

"I am very interested in understanding the entire process to better help our team. Can you help me understand how doing xyz helps our goals?"

[radix]

Originally Posted by Billup

I think you grossly misinterpreted the notion behind my comment. If someone should say that to their boss, I hope they have a mini cam attached to their shirt and share the results.

Was simply sarcasm. OP has some good responses in here, but its the real world. If you don't like where you work or who you work for, either address it or find a job elsewhere.

I guess so, lol.

[RambleJ]

I still see very vague replies from the OP. what is your job and what is an example of what your boss is asking you to do? Before we tell you how to defuse the situation, lets make sure there is a situation to defuse.

[pt]

If there's workplace bullying going on, welcome to the real world. Many bosses aren't much more sophisticated than that. Looks like you failed to evaluate the boss in your interviews, fell for corporate flim-flam in the hiring process, or just got blinded by company kool-aid.

Now you know. Next time, press them more in the interview process. Ask how decisions are made in the company. Ask how conflicts are resolved. If they object or give you a hard time for it, then do you really want to work for them?

In any workplace, the best attitude to have is one of service. Extend yourself past your role. Take a chance here and there. If you find a problem, fix it and tell your boss about it posthumously to see if s/he would have done it differently and why. Learn how to anticipate downstream problems that some action would cause and get in a position to fix them. Put yourself in a position where your boss' colleagues tell him how awesome you are. You earn this, and not from following a job description. If anybody is paying you a salary, this is a minimum standard of service to me.

Where I will give latitude is with a lack of growth potential. You'll get to a point eventually where there isn't much more to gain from the position. A good boss will try and help you move on while an asshole boss will try and box you in. There's nothing to be gained from a lack of growth and it's always right to remove yourself from those situations.

Another bit of advice: it's not midnight yet - get the fuck back to work! (this is somewhat above my minimum standard of service )

[kmarei]

Can you strengthen your relationship with your bosses boss?
I used to report to the GM, had a sucky relationship with her
But I was very close to the late CEO, so most major decisions I handled with him
And always kept her in the loop, but it was more " I'm doing xyz, and the CEO already approved it"
And yes I work in IT, but I promise no balls were washed or cupped

[Sara]

Originally Posted by Ehwnnc

cup the balls

+1

[musc]

I have been in a few positions and it always seem to be great at first but then things aren't always what they seem. The choices are simple. Suck it up or move on. Things will never be exactly the way you want or expect unless YOU are the boss.

[dreamingat30fps]

Originally Posted by musc

I have been in a few positions and it always seem to be great at first but then things aren't always what they seem. The choices are simple. Suck it up or move on. Things will never be exactly the way you want or expect unless YOU are the boss.

And then you will still be fucked.

[musc]

Originally Posted by dreamingat30fps

And then you will still be fucked.

lol, you are probably right. Probably a whole new set of drama to deal with when running the whole show!

[Spinny02]

How did it go?