Guy catches mechanic taking his car to Taco Bell

[Lups]

Originally Posted by fecurtis

Go for minor inconveniences and just wallow in her frustration. A few ideas,

-Place small pebbles in her shoes, but only the ones that require some effort to put on and off.
-Ensure her pillow covers are always warm, never cold.
-If she uses your computer, make Internet Explorer your default browser.
-If she uses her own bathroom, put single ply toilet paper in there.
-You have a dog right? Buy a dog whistle, that way if you ever wake up before her or she goes to bed before everyone, simply blow it and she'll haven't the slightest idea why your dog is going nuts.
-She use iPhone headphones? Tangle them when no one is looking.

No reason you can't enjoy having the in laws over.

Where have you been all my life?!

Sir, I love your way of thinking.

[fecurtis]

Originally Posted by Lups

Where have you been all my life?!

Sir, I love your way of thinking.

The dog whistle one also works great on rude neighbors who like to party at 3 AM all the time...especially if they themselves own a dog.

[Jarryd]

Man if my car looked like that I'd borrow it to anyone hoping it will be totaled lmao

[Lups]

Originally Posted by fecurtis

The dog whistle one also works great on rude neighbors who like to party at 3 AM all the time...especially if they themselves own a dog.

I might as well list you the things I've tried by now. I am not proud of myself, and I want to say in my defense I usually show better manners.


I asked her mother for a list of her most hated foods, I make those mostly. Sadly since the food is free, she still stuffs her face.

I have a list of all things banned from my kitchen taped to the fridge (I'm a hippie, no Nestlé products, only organic fruits and veggies, no tuna.... The list is long) after she started bringing her own food which she labeled as hers to my kitchen. When she took all her food to the basement (formerly known as my office) I spend two days trying to catch a mouse to put there. Finally I just faked one, put it in a trap next to her foods.

Since she has never had a boyfriend, I only talk about sex or relationships after kids are in beds.

In the car, I play songs that are as offensive as possible to people with zero sense of humor and I ask her to translate them to Finnish. Rammstein is my new favorite artist.

I taught my German shepherd to greet her by jumping on her and stealing her bananas.

I stuffed her cabinets full of condoms "this is USA. You need to wrap it up"

What else... I constantly talk about people who have died painfully because they thought visiting family was a good idea.


I took her to a salon the get waxed. She came back with hair shorts.

I pay ten buck per time my kids get her to shut up. My little weasels check their accounts daily and they keep count.

I stopped buying coffee because she likes it. Now I live almost without my first love.

Now, as you can see, nothing has worked. She still eats with her elbows on the table, talks while chewing, and I've lost a pound or two because i can't eat in my own home, I wake up from nightmares about her hairy legs almost every night. I truly am afraid I've completely gone insane.

Oh, my hubby fled to Finland since I've been so fucking nice lately. My revenge will be a sweet one.

[fecurtis]

Originally Posted by Lups

In the car, I play songs that are as offensive as possible to people with zero sense of humor and I ask her to translate them to Finnish. Rammstein is my new favorite artist.

What else... I constantly talk about people who have died painfully because they thought visiting family was a good idea.

I pay ten buck per time my kids get her to shut up. My little weasels check their accounts daily and they keep count.

These were my favorite. The Rammstein to Finnish one is fucking great.

[Lups]

Originally Posted by fecurtis

These were my favorite. The Rammstein to Finnish one is fucking great.

I've forgotten to tell her german is my second language. She teaches that as a profession.

Her coming here was marketed to me (as in "oh, btw, my sister comes for a visit during the summer" and "please, please pick her up from the airport and do not hire a hit man") with the words she is going to leave her suitcases to our house and go for road trips here, I mean not to be in my home! That plan changed after I told her in no circumstances is she lending my car.

I do get along with some people, and I have never gone to these lengths to annoy anyone. I will be seeking therapy after she leaves.

[UncleWede]

I taught my German shepherd to greet her by jumping on her and stealing her bananas.

Is that some sort of Finnish term for humping her leg????

[MrPrena]

Originally Posted by Lups

I might as well list you the things I've tried by now. I am not proud of myself, and I want to say in my defense I usually show better manners.


I asked her mother for a list of her most hated foods, I make those mostly. Sadly since the food is free, she still stuffs her face.

I have a list of all things banned from my kitchen taped to the fridge (I'm a hippie, no Nestlé products, only organic fruits and veggies, no tuna.... The list is long) after she started bringing her own food which she labeled as hers to my kitchen. When she took all her food to the basement (formerly known as my office) I spend two days trying to catch a mouse to put there. Finally I just faked one, put it in a trap next to her foods.

Since she has never had a boyfriend, I only talk about sex or relationships after kids are in beds.

In the car, I play songs that are as offensive as possible to people with zero sense of humor and I ask her to translate them to Finnish. Rammstein is my new favorite artist.

I taught my German shepherd to greet her by jumping on her and stealing her bananas.

I stuffed her cabinets full of condoms "this is USA. You need to wrap it up"

What else... I constantly talk about people who have died painfully because they thought visiting family was a good idea.


I took her to a salon the get waxed. She came back with hair shorts.

I pay ten buck per time my kids get her to shut up. My little weasels check their accounts daily and they keep count.

I stopped buying coffee because she likes it. Now I live almost without my first love.

Now, as you can see, nothing has worked. She still eats with her elbows on the table, talks while chewing, and I've lost a pound or two because i can't eat in my own home, I wake up from nightmares about her hairy legs almost every night. I truly am afraid I've completely gone insane.

Oh, my hubby fled to Finland since I've been so fucking nice lately. My revenge will be a sweet one.

See? You already wrote chapter 2 just on today's post alone.
Maybe promote her to camp with her friend more. At least you get free time?

[Lups]

Originally Posted by UncleWede

I taught my German shepherd to greet her by jumping on her and stealing her bananas.

Is that some sort of Finnish term for humping her leg????

No, I'm not that good.

I still can't believe I smeared bacon grease on bananas to teach her to jump. I've clearly lost my marbles.

@prenna lol. I might as well write it up for you and mail it to you, I have the time.

[MrPrena]

Originally Posted by Lups

No, I'm not that good.

I still can't believe I smeared bacon grease on bananas to teach her to jump. I've clearly lost my marbles.

@prenna lol. I might as well write it up for you and mail it to you, I have the time.

I actually another family with problems. We all don't like her, but my mother is 100% supportive of my sister. I would rather trust a cat with my fish filet dinner than my sister.

[kseyfi86]

Originally Posted by Flying Ace

YOU'RE embarssed for owning a Z in the past? Think about how I feel having owned an Evo 8 ten years ago. Have you seen the abominations these kids are doing to our cars?

Lmao, excatly. Saw such a bad evo 9 the other day I had to take a pic and send it to a friend who used to own one before the 10 came out. Depressing to see that stuff happen to once well-respected cars.

[NYBulldog]

Garbage ass ride. Some test drives need to be longer especially if his car was in a crash. Didn't even have a headlight. Crybaby. Car wasn't worthy enough to continue to complain.

[Flying Ace]

Originally Posted by kseyfi86

Lmao, excatly. Saw such a bad evo 9 the other day I had to take a pic and send it to a friend who used to own one before the 10 came out. Depressing to see that stuff happen to once well-respected cars.

depressing to see what happens when a car depreciates and enters the financial realms of hoodrats, ricers and posers

[Flying Ace]

Originally Posted by MrPrena

I actually another family with problems. We all don't like her, but my mother is 100% supportive of my sister. I would rather trust a cat with my fish filet dinner than my sister.

is the goal to protect the fish filet dinner?

[MrPrena]

Originally Posted by Flying Ace

is the goal to protect the fish filet dinner?

Or protect the cat.

[hongsc]

Originally Posted by Lups

I find this post offensive!

Do you really think I'd spend a month and a half crying over her pissing me off, if I could market her as a hottie and send her off to the first desperate guy here?! Seriously?

When she came here on a Wednesday (6.15 pm) I spend four hours fixing her voice with whiskey. I got half way to a bottle, when she fell asleep in the middle of her own sentence.

The next day I tried to teach her how to drive.

According to her license (a Finnish one) she is allowed to drive anything from a buss to a truck (lorry). In 40 minutes she had two of my Audis rims curbed ("no one can spot those, I'm sure" wtf???!) and I left to California, since I could not take it anymore.

Those were our two first days. When I came back, she said her brother, the fucker I married, had told her to ask me if she could take my car for her road trip.

I never go see the hubby at work, but after hearing that I told him to haul his ass to a near by park and ten minutes later I spent 20 minutes trying to get a few kicks or hits in. (back home we used to go to our lawn and practice self defense every night until I busted my ankle.). This was the only time I could get a few shots in.

She left last Sunday for her road trip. She left me no contact info on her traveling partner, and she hasn't texted me anything since. I am truly hoping he was some murderer.

Haha Lups. I bet your family reunions are full of win. Luckily she curbed the Audi instead of Peter.

[Lups]

Originally Posted by hongsc

Haha Lups. I bet your family reunions are full of win. Luckily she curbed the Audi instead of Peter.

I am not the usual car geek, I lack the balls.

After our first kid was born, I escaped our flat with the baby to the in-laws summer house. My dog was ran over by a fucked up neighbor then as revenge of me demanding to keep a gated road open while someone who's about to pop lives there. I know, I was insane to demand that in a country with zero crime.

Now, the dog needed immediate medical care, so I kindly ("move your car or I will drive through it, RIGHT FUCKING NOW") told her to back her car away.

When someone who knows what they are doing, even on a small country lane, you see it immediately. She spent the two longest minutes of my life by trying not to hit trees that had been there all her life.

My (hubbys but since I don't let him drive...) Audi means nothing to me. I hate the gearbox, I hate the design, you will not find a person from this globe who says a Q7 drives well.

When ever I fuck up, I own up to them. I admit I can't go to my home country for 6 more months because I got caught mildly speeding on a parking lot. Hell, I own up to destroying a Christmas turkey's leg, because my ego beat me big time.

She actually thought she can loan MY Peter. My hubby thought it was hilarious to see the face off.

Nowadays, I find it pretty fucking cute that I consider myself as a pacifist.

True, I don't see violence as an option I'd take, I have a hard time justifying to me defending myself.

I do know, that for me to let her to touch my car ("I will open your door. I will put your seat belt on, you do not touch with your hands anything, ever" is excluded. That has been the protocol for two rides) I need the flavors WA now serves publicly.

[NEFARIOUS]

For me, I've had my car COMPLETELY joy-ridden by a valet driver. As in, I went to one of those long-term parking lots to visit my dad for the weekend and already had a distrust for valets... My car was a Solara, not a Ferrari or anything special, but still, I came back to have my car with 37 more miles than usual, a Reggaeton CD in the stereo (keep in mind I can't stand Reggaeton even to this day, and that incident was 10 years ago), and a slight cigarette smell to it, a club flyer under the seat and my passenger airbag on (meaning someone has been in the back... Solaras had a very common issue with the side impact airbag's plug coming loose). Yet, the only thing I got was a refund of the charges and that was good enough.

But to take a riced out Z to lunch and not be happy after they've lost their jobs, had the services paid for AND future discounts applicable is a bit of a dick move. WTF?!? I mean, I wouldn't appreciate it if someone used my car for errands... If they're inspecting a problem, that's the only thing I'd expect, nothing else. No food, smoking, drinking, running errands: NOTHING. End of frickin' list.

Anything more, and you're just a disrespectful prick who can't respect other people's property... I don't barge into your house with a lit cigar and help myself to your food like I'm Cosmo Kramer, don't I? Despite admittedly being a douche/troll sometimes, even with my best friend of 8 years, I still ring the doorbell and only eat/drink when offered!

However, this guy deserve Douche of the Year... If anything I'd ask them "Why Taco Bell? Sorry you lost your job... Here's $50, get a Modelo and some fish tacos from a real Mexican restaurant!" (seriously, am I the only one insulted by the fact that they went to the sorriest excuse for "Mexican" food for lunch?)

Sorry if I sound harsh, but that's the way it is in my book. Also don't mind my harshness, I've downed a few beers.

Originally Posted by Lups

she can loan MY Peter

http://onlineslangdictionary.com/mea...ition-of/peter
2nd meaning. Be careful how you use that We used to have a neighbor named Peter that was a real... Peter.