Mechanic drives a Z4

Mr. ///M3 RD · 12-14-2010, 10:54 AM

This aircraft mechanic drives a Z4is and he seams to have all the answers

Just in case you need a laugh: Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; that's reassurance to those of us who fly routinely.

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The
mechanics corrects the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next
flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS
pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

* P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
* P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
* P: Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit.
* P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back-order.
* P: Auto-pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
* P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed.
* P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level.
* P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what friction locks are for.
* P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
* P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right.
* P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
* P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!) S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
* P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
* P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed.
* And the best one for last,
* P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from the midget.

Constant.S · 12-14-2010, 11:58 AM

All of those logical solutions make perfect sense!!! hahahahahha

tranquility · 12-14-2010, 12:00 PM

Haha. You have too much time on your hands, Rolf.

Mr. ///M3 RD · 12-14-2010, 12:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tranquility

Haha. You have too much time on your hands, Rolf.

and I love it (besides I cannot drive in this snow we had in the past week, over 1 meter) .... you best watch out the Boss will be right back from lunch get back to work and look busy you might jet get that Christmas Bonus

Silver-Bolt · 12-14-2010, 12:40 PM

LMAO.

tranquility · 12-14-2010, 01:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rolf-Dieter

and I love it (besides I cannot drive in this snow we had in the past week, over 1 meter) .... you best watch out the Boss will be right back from lunch get back to work and look busy you might jet get that Christmas Bonus

Unless you're talking about my wife, I have no boss nearby lol. Not working at the moment.

Over 1m??? Ouch. I just drove today for the 1st time in snow w/ the Z. Maybe 1cm or 2? Still, need to be careful since I'm not used to driving this car in the snow at all.

12-14-2010, 10:54 AM	#1
Mr. ///M3 RD Happy Camper 613 Rep 7,869 Posts Drives: C63 AMG & 280 SL on Weekends : Join Date: May 2010 Location: GTA, Ontario - Canada iTrader: (0) Garage List 1969 Restored Merce ... [7.50] 2011 M3 Coupe TRADED [7.34] 1987 BMW 535is [1.00] Cars from the Past [6.50] The ///M3 Engine S65 [9.59]	Mechanic drives a Z4 This aircraft mechanic drives a Z4is and he seams to have all the answers Just in case you need a laugh: Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; that's reassurance to those of us who fly routinely. After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics corrects the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. * P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. * P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. * P: Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit. * P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back-order. * P: Auto-pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. * P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. * P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level. * P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what friction locks are for. * P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. * P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right. * P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. * P: Aircraft handles funny. *(I love this one!)* S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious. * P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. * P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed. * *And the best one for last,* * P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from the midget. __________________ Cheers, Rolf-Dieter Life will take us to some interesting places, fortunately The ///M3 will too with a many of us know this very well, now my C6.3 AMG with 487 HP does it too ---> Click here for some good stuff I found
	Appreciate 0 Tweet Quote

12-14-2010, 11:58 AM	#2
Constant.S Resistance is futile... 54 Rep 640 Posts Drives: BMW Z4 E89(N54) Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Greece/Canada iTrader: (0)	All of those logical solutions make perfect sense!!! hahahahahha __________________ An ounce of performance is worth pounds of promises.
	Appreciate 0 Quote

12-14-2010, 12:00 PM	#3
tranquility sportscars only 3244 Rep 3,195 Posts Drives: 2011 Z4 sDrive 35i Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Montréal iTrader: (0)	Haha. You have too much time on your hands, Rolf.
	Appreciate 0 Quote

12-14-2010, 12:40 PM	#5
Silver-Bolt Captain 27 Rep 805 Posts Drives: 2011 Z4 35is Melbourne Red Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Portland, OR iTrader: (0) Garage List 2011 Z4 35is [9.00]	LMAO.
	Appreciate 0 Quote