At what age did you get your sh*t together?

[NorCalAthlete]

The older I get, the more I realize we're all just winging it.

[Esteban]

I started getting my shit together at age 20, when I got married. That's what a good woman will do for you. At least that's how it worked for me. She changed my life. 46 years (in July) later, still married to the same good woman.

[King Rudi]

I honestly hope to never have my shit together 100%. One of my favorite quotes: "When all your wishes are granted all of your dreams will be destroyed." I hope to always have something to work on personally. For the past few years, I live daily by the mindset of simply trying to be better today than I was yesterday.

In the sense that you speak of, I would say around 16 or so is when I was basically forced to have my shit together. I was told at a very early that I seemed very mature for my age. I used to jokingly reply with "Thanks! It's all the adversity." I'm a firm believer that the more adversity, responsibility or lack of guidance makes a person mature; hardship should also fall under this.

As an adult, I feel like I still don't have my shit together; even with most tick boxes checked that most use as measuring sticks. Good job, bills are paid, house is paid off, etc. The odd thing is, the more things that I acquire, I feel the further from the mark of having my shit together.

[DETRoadster]

Originally Posted by JP10

Nice! Another person who understands what it is like to be the last person in college to turn 21 haha. I also started college at 17. With that said I definitely was a loose cannon and quite immature at the time.

Oh, well if acting immature is the measure of how well you have your shit together, then I'm a long way off.

I do stupid shit daily. Not quite as many of the "hold my beer and watch this" moments as things seem to hurt a lot more, cost more, and take longer to recover from than they did in my 20s and 30s. Also, in my 20s I had $0 deductible healthcare and couldn't tell you what the word "co-pay" meant.

Originally Posted by King Rudi

I honestly hope to never have my shit together 100%. One of my favorite quotes: "When all your wishes are granted all of your dreams will be destroyed." I hope to always have something to work on personally. For the past few years, I live daily by the mindset of simply trying to be better today than I was yesterday.

For sure. I do agree with what someone else posted back on Page 1 that life is a continuous series of new and increasing challenges to overcome, so in theory "having your shit together" is more of an evolution than a single point in time.

My wife and I are in the middle of buying some property and looking to have a house built. After 3 home purchases over the past 25 years we have the whole "house shop, offer, get a mortgage, buy the house" thing dialed. IOW, our shit is together in that arena. But buying vacant land, performing feasibility studies, talking to lawyers about easements, permitting, interviewing builders and architects, getting a construction loan, geo-tech surveys, etc. That's all new and we are way out of our element. Our shit is definitely NOT together here....

[spazzyfry123]

Originally Posted by DETRoadster

My wife and I are in the middle of buying some property and looking to have a house built. After 3 home purchases over the past 25 years we have the whole "house shop, offer, get a mortgage, buy the house" thing dialed. IOW, our shit is together in that arena. But buying vacant land, performing feasibility studies, talking to lawyers about easements, permitting, interviewing builders and architects, getting a construction loan, geo-tech surveys, etc. That's all new and we are way out of our element. Our shit is definitely NOT together here....

As much as I would like this to be our next house process, I really don't know that I can tackle that. I feel like that's a second full-time job to keep up on. Not to mention I have yet to find a general contractor that I even remotely trust. God speed!

[DETRoadster]

Originally Posted by spazzyfry123

As much as I would like this to be our next house process, I really don't know that I can tackle that. I feel like that's a second full-time job to keep up on. Not to mention I have yet to find a general contractor that I even remotely trust. God speed!

Ask me in 2 years if I regret it...

[ToddBlack88]

Moved out of my parents house at 18 and was forced to get my shit together.

I have hit middle age now and it’s starting to come apart again. Lol

[TiMSport]

Originally Posted by ToddBlack88

Moved out of my parents house at 18 and was forced to get my shit together.

I have hit middle age now and it’s starting to come apart again. Lol

"Mom. Is my room still not being used?"

[vreihen16]

Am I the only person here who came home one day and discovered that my parents moved out of our house and left me behind? Sink or swim.....

[Esteban]

Originally Posted by vreihen16

Am I the only person here who came home one day and discovered that my parents moved out of our house and left me behind? Sink or swim.....

Is that true? If yes, that really sucks. How old were you?

[hooligan_G01]

So far, it's not 46.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by vreihen16

Am I the only person here who came home one day and discovered that my parents moved out of our house and left me behind? Sink or swim.....

Nope, but in reverse. I moved out the day of my 18th birthday. Still in High School. Moved in with a friend and her parents, worked to pay for my way and still graduated. I left with nothing but the clothes that I paid for and started from scratch. The following summer I had my own place.

[vreihen16]

Originally Posted by Esteban

Is that true? If yes, that really sucks. How old were you?

100% true. I was 21 or so at the time, and everything was more or less planned in advance with a sink or swim deal. Oh, and all of the house bills were sitting neatly on the kitchen counter, so that I didn't forget to pay them.....

[fiveohwblow]

Originally Posted by Chihuahua

... the light bulb truly went on over my head at 37.

I would say similar for lightbulb moment, more than likely got my shit together too young due to both life and subsequent choices. Was living in Japan at 18 on my own, married at 20.

[KennySRFElite]

Age 20, as I took my first step off of the "cattle car" at Fort Leonard Wood. I got my shit together real quick. I've been squared away ever since.

KP

[MKSixer]

For me it was a little different. I came with my 5hit together by birth. I dotted all eyes and crossed all T's with the exception of enjoying a bit of danger every once in a while. Played 3 sports year-round, graduated with honors from HS with 6 scholarships and turned down dozens more.

Lost in the 2nd semester of my sophomore year. I went from Dean's List in Mechanical Engineering to nothing. I basically flunked out of the school where my parents were professors. Lost all but one scholarship. As I look back now, the pressure of having to be what everyone expected (perfect) broke me down. I realized what it was decades later when I was speaking to a good friend of mine who is a physician. He droned on to a crowd that I was simply the best blah blah blah blah at an event. I shared with him that when everyone expects you to be perfect, all you can do is disappoint people. He was taken aback and agreed. It's a horrible place to be and the conversation was revelatory to me.

I got it back together about a year later after skipping a semester, working part-time to support myself at a company I at which I was later promoted to a vice-presidency. My mom cut me off completely but my dad slipped me a little money to augment the whopping $3.35 I was making telemarketing.

Lost it completely at 20.5, adrift for a year. Got it back together at 22.

Never Quit.

[Tambohamilton]

33, own a house, 2 kids, 2 cars. Definitely not got my shit together though!

[oVeRdOsE.]

fun discussion.

I never really ''wanted'' to get my shit together, and it just happened.

aka, bachelor/wife/job/kids/house/paid cars/time for my hobbies. (note this is subjective, not everyone choice)

im 32.

Around my friend circle, I probably the most immature one, still doing stupid stuff, drinking, party, dark humour, modded car; but I'm the only one with a stable life. No dept.

But i can imagine if only 1 disruptive thing would have happened in my life path, I would not have the '' getting my shit together''.

The role of luck in life success is far greater than we realized. There's a book (cant recall the name) about this.

[Humdizzle]

depends on definition of having it together.

as long as you have stability in your life. eating well, running water, heat and AC, roof over your head... and up to date on all your payments, then you are doing better than most of the world.

luck is a big part of it though. not everyone gets the same opportunities and stability growing up.

[Turkish Pickle]

I'm 23 and I feel like I am far away from having my shit together. Most of my friends think I do, but I really don't feel like I do hahaha

I'm pretty good at winging things, confidence helps definitely, but it also feels like it'd be nice to be "stable". Have a paycheck come in every now and then, not worry about anything else. But my family isn't a billionaire so I know that's not happening unless I make it happen (working on it!)

On the outside I have a long term girlfriend, got a job, finished my degree, and I live life the good way. Kept the job offer valid as a foreign student through a pandemic. Spent two months in California after college like it's a vacation. Hanging out at Rodeo Drive, Sunset blvd, going to high-end car events, seeing all sorts of multi-million dollar cars. At least that's what the instagram shows...

On the inside, I have not started work yet because of visa issues (got it approved! starting next week), and i've been bumming around for the last two months, basically couch-crashing at my girlfriend's place. She's been nothing but supportive throughout! I was going to buy a property, but that fell through due to not being employed. i spent a ridiculous amount of money since December, not enough to get me in financial trouble, but an amount I don't feel comfortable sharing. My car might not work by the time I'm back; haven't started it since mid January. Boss has been on my ass waiting me to start. He's been working with me and I owe him a lot for not firing me. I barely have an address I can get stuff sent to, and that's 2.5 hours away from work (close to school). haven't had a chance to renew my license since it expired because I've been out of state. Need to find a place near work, buy furniture, move all my shit in, learn how to budget ASAP etc

[hubbahubba]

Originally Posted by DETRoadster

Oh, well if acting immature is the measure of how well you have your shit together, then I'm a long way off.

I do stupid shit daily. Not quite as many of the "hold my beer and watch this" moments as things seem to hurt a lot more, cost more, and take longer to recover from than they did in my 20s and 30s. Also, in my 20s I had $0 deductible healthcare and couldn't tell you what the word "co-pay" meant.



For sure. I do agree with what someone else posted back on Page 1 that life is a continuous series of new and increasing challenges to overcome, so in theory "having your shit together" is more of an evolution than a single point in time.

My wife and I are in the middle of buying some property and looking to have a house built. After 3 home purchases over the past 25 years we have the whole "house shop, offer, get a mortgage, buy the house" thing dialed. IOW, our shit is together in that arena. But buying vacant land, performing feasibility studies, talking to lawyers about easements, permitting, interviewing builders and architects, getting a construction loan, geo-tech surveys, etc. That's all new and we are way out of our element. Our shit is definitely NOT together here....

Awesome! You can do it. I have never lived/worked in the Seattle area, but most of my life has been spent in construction management. The key to the whole puzzle is speaking to those in your municipality's planning/development/engineering/construction departments, making them completely aware of what you want to accomplish, and have them tell you the steps you need to take to make it happen safely in their view. In all the places I have built things, nobody in those positions ever turned down an opportunity to guide me through what I did not know how to do. They aren't going to build the house for you, but I believe they will provide you the knowledge necessary for you to piece together the individual steps. Their job is to ultimately make sure you have a safe place to call home, and those that I have worked with, all of them, have been thrilled that I asked them for guidance. It is rare that people do ask, and I believe it puts you on their "favorites" list.

[hubbahubba]

The more shit I cobble together, the more shit I find uncobbled.
-Jim 3/15/2021